Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a big week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own basic portion relates to us via xojane, the women’s site oriented upwards by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(I’m major) of




Titled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “it simply happened in my experience” function which existed at JANE mag and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively fascinating private encounters.

The private author of this portion, just who we’ll call “Ariel,” is really bisexual, but because she readily supplies blow jobs to the woman male partners but does not time or typically go lower on women, this woman is, she describes, theoretically, merely a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She also describes by herself as “mostly straight” and “direct” at different things in story.) Her reputation started, she clarifies, whenever the woman very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at the woman college — took place on her for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which right away fled the world fearing her very own failure to perform this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted duration.

She writes:

“obviously, word had gotten around that she and that I had hooked up which I would left their dangling, which in fact had the unusual effectation of giving me personally folk-heroine status. Kelly known as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It absolutely was like some type of motion picture conceit where champion is actually recognised incorrectly as a high profile and reaches ride in a limo and remain in a fancy resort due to it.”

This seemingly completely worked out inside her support, as she romped about in university hooking up with lots of “aggressive kinds exactly who had gotten off in the idea that I found myself reluctant to let a lady touch me.” Post-college, she shifted into net, where she advertised the lady relaxed condition and sometimes came across up with women for NSA sex.

Close to the end she problematically clarifies that when hooking up with a female she actually is perhaps not drawn to, she simply closes the woman eyes and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.” Sometimes it may seem like she wants ladies for eating her out even though they’re presumably much better at it than men are. She


go-down on it but “I’m not dating all of them, and that I don’t think i’d wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by taking care of somebody enough to hand back.”

I’dnot need to sit alongside Ariel on a plane, but the woman one-sided intimate experiences tend to be consensual and she is merely advising a real story of the woman existence, and so I’m not really sure things to make of this (and I’m curious to know what you will be making of it, if anything).

Then, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Men Venture
) we’ve got
We hitched a Lesbian (And I’m a Guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended attain crushes on the same types of lady: the star baseball user, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some were not.” He wondered:

What-is-it that drew me oftentimes to ladies who were same-sex attracted? It certainly was not the stereotypical male fantasy by what they certainly were carrying out between the sheets, and it truly had nothing in connection with a macho belief that I could change a gay lady right.

In areas, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me personally for this estimate from

Girls Next Door

that I cited in a write-up about feminine manliness

“…if we’d to create an added generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that a lot of all of us are powerfully attracted to ladies, gay or directly, stunning or otherwise not, just who seem as though they can manage on their own.”

The writer ultimately marries a lesbian who presented as directly, in which he discovered their causing love life is unsatisfactory. She refused to give him blow jobs and did not really like entrance but gladly approved his offerings of cunnilingus. When their particular sexless marriage finished in separation and a drug relapse (for him), they are relatively thoughtful to their ex-wife’s strive in place of marking her as misleading (as many of the commenters carry out):

She had originate from a conservative family members who would have-been deeply embarrassed having a homosexual kid. She may always have understood, but did the girl better to conceal it, perhaps hoping that the woman feelings might alter. Or she might-have-been like many women i have recognized, and only discovered her genuine sexual identification after already becoming married to men.

What is redeeming concerning this article if you ask me that the writer’s conception of his personal sex is certainly caused by free from the original male posturing any might count on in a piece similar to this (the guy actually means themselves as “femmy”). Perhaps it really appears that way because guys very rarely reveal wishing powerful, athletic, strong ladies with short hair; but it is energizing however.

I don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for informing their tales, but it is really worth pointing out that both narratives frequently drive regarding concept that bedroom behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning signal” the guy skipped, when penetration is actually scarcely a specifically heterosexual act (it seems more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of entrance with men she don’t wish become with, yet who knows) and slipping in love, fundamentally, is all about the vagina but it’s in addition regarding the center and it’s really generally about having enchanting feelings. Those enchanting feelings are just what transforms a hook-up relationship into a relationship, all things considered.

Ultimately at

there is a sweet story directly through the pony’s mouth area —
My First-time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I think here is the first time the “first-time” series has highlighted a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth level, the author confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian emotions for her, and her companion reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian commitment and they’re nonetheless together now and she actually is a grown-up when you look at the army!

This indicates they will have yet to take their commitment from the cabinet, in fact it is somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [


: works out this tale ended up being composed before DADT was repealed, although it just got released, thus there is nothing puzzling taking place here. This is just straight-up sweet in most method, unequivocally.]

The focus of portion (and is really sexy and sweet) is on the author’s development of
what lesbian intercourse is quite

We had never ever come down on every various other, and I also had been convinced that is what we’d meant once we mentioned we wished to make love. (Now we realize there’s a lot more to fucking than licking a girl’s snatch and contacting it every single day.)

She concludes:

I understand that many folks disagree with what virginity means to a homosexual girl, but virginity is entirely subjective, plus it really is based on who you’re inquiring. Some individuals might state penetration needs to be involved, but i believe it really is up to anyone losing his / her virginity. Basically feel like I lost my personal virginity, after that goddammit, i’ve!

I invested all of the day and mid-day observing word press, trying to figure out what point i really could make about any of these pieces. I imagined lots about why we’d never release “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about site but can’t work through the reason that I would fear 50 of you would vow not to go back here and the remaning many-thousands people would fight together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before heating loss of the market. I pictured somebody posting “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to you via e-mail then I imagined the editorial meeting in which we’d get to that story and all sorts of state “NO” as well.

In trying to find a place to gleam from these stories, i have attempted to figure out what you might think or say, and that I can’t, and I also like to finish this post as quickly as possible to improve the process of me determining how you feel about these tales. Yup, for the first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, i have got not a clue what things to state about something. So maybe I should only ask you — what’s your own reaction to these pieces?

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